Hello Everyone, as the year comes to a close and we are now on our holiday vacation, I've been able to spend some time with my family and reflect on this past year. Sometimes I surprise myself with just how much my husband, daughter, and I have been through. Over the past year, we have worked really hard to iron out all of the wrinkles and create a life that is healthy and sustainable, which can be really hard nowadays.
If you've been following my blog, you'll know that I am a full-time working mom here in Yokohama, Japan. Being a 働くママ or ワーママ (working mom) in Japan is really hard, especially one who works outside of the home for a Japanese company. This is due to several reasons, but mostly due to the strong belief that mothers are to devote themselves to the home, and usually leave their job once falling pregnant. Being a new mom is hard, but trying to balance work (and all the drama that might entail) while discovering who you are as mother, plus tending to the physical demands of the home, and 100% of the needs of the baby, while not losing your sanity, patience, or health, is darn near impossible at times!
And because the cultures of Japan and America are so different, it was especially hard for me to find my groove. My husband has never lived abroad and only started learning being interested in foreign cultures and English a few years ago. Although is a very opened minded individual, there's a difference between theory and in practice. So, he also was not really receptive or open to the "American ways or African American ways" of raising children, so I also had to learn about how Japanese mothers balance their time and raise their kids.
Most of the schedules I found in Japan had the "me-time" starting at 11:00pm...with a wake-up time at 6:30. Unfortunately, that doesn't take into considering a child who may wake up at night or wake up extremely early. There was a time where my daughter was waking at 5am...sometimes even 4am! So, going to bed so late is such a gamble.
Also, in most Japanese child-rearing resources, husbands play a minimal role in the child-rearing. They were mostly delegated to picking/drop-off the kid, cooking a meal once in a while, or watching the kid for an hour or two a week. That's it. That wasn't good enough for me, and I wanted to find a way to give my husband and I more time to sleep and recharge with our hobbies, but that could only work if both of us was on board.
So, after a year of trial and error, we've found a routine that allows us both time to contribute to the household, and enough time to recharge with our hobbies and spend time with each other.
This first blog post will show our general daily schedule, and the next post will show in more detail how we split the household duties. Finally, I'll share tips with all of you moms out there on how you can lessen your load, and also get your child and husband involved!
6:00 | WAKE-UP
In the future, I'd like to be able to comfortably wake up at 5:30 to have morning me-time, but for now, 6am seems to be when I wake up naturally and feel rested. My daughter wakes up between 6:15 and 7:00am, so I have about 15 minutes to take a shower and get dressed for the day. I try to pack my work bags and layout my clothes the night before to save time. If she wakes up around 6:15, my husband will keep her until I finish my hair and make-up.
7:00 | COOK BREAKFAST
I start too cook at 7, which is my daughter's breakfast time. It's a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast for my husband and I, and my daughter's food is always leftovers from the night before, or frozen cubes of cooked food that my husband made for her. It takes about 2 minutes to prepare. She also gets miso soup, and some fresh fruit.
7:30 | LEAVE FOR WORK
This part is a bit hectic because I am responsible for taking out the trash, and also doing my daughter's hair. Plus, I am always forgetting something and need to pack it at the last second! So, I am always running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Of course, I can always take out the trash the night before, and that might be something I look into, but right now, I keep forgetting!
8:30-5:30 | WORK
I usually do any errands on my break, which can range from going to the bank, going, grocery shopping to clothing shopping for my daughter. I am trying to break this habit because I do need a proper break, but I work in a convenient location, so I like to take advantage of it.
6:30 | RETURN HOME FROM WORK
I get home between 6:15 and 6:30. Sometimes I stop off at the grocery store on the way home, but usually I book it straight for the house. My daughter is usually in the middle of dinner, and basically my husband has dinner waiting on the table. I take over feeding her some nights, or I watch her if dinner isn't ready. After dinner, is always hectic because my daughter is usually clingy and wants to read a story. So, sometimes I eat first and my husband entertains her or vice versa.
7:30 | STORY TIME
I am in charge of the night time routine, which is great because I can spend quality time with my daughter. I brush her teeth, clean up her toys, and read her a few stories. We then put her to bed together, and if we are successful, I can finish my night time chores, such as packing her daycare bag and washing the dishes.
8:30 | ME/WE-TIME
She is usually asleep by 8:30, so during this time, my husband can jog, take a long bath, or we can watch television together or have a discussion or plan. We usually spend at least an hour together. After that, we go our separate ways for the night. Usually I plan for the next day, and he reads. I need to get better at sitting down and blogging or doing fun things other than scrolling through Instagram or thinking about work!
10:30 | BEDTIME
I try to go to bed between 9:30 and 10:30. Right now, I am usually super exhausted, but hopefully with some changes up ahead *fingers crossed*, I won't be so ready to fall into dream land by the end of the day!
So, what does your schedule look like? I'd love to see it, and learn how I can restructure my day!
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